What a time to be alive. This digital life has opened up a ton of possibilities and lowered the barrier to entry of almost any field. Some jobs are especially at risk of being hijacked by bluffers. You can’t learn to pilot an airplane or build a skyscraper online, but some professions seem easier than others. If you’ve spent years building expertise in one of the following fields, then you’ve been super annoyed at least once by a poser beyefty about being a:
1. Medical Doctor
Well, most Egyptians have prescribed to someone around them an antibiotic for any cold and Antenal for any stomach ache, at least once in their lives. And Who hasn’t gone to see a doctor with a googled diagnosis already prepared, and then watched that doctors face turn bright red and shout “allah yekhrebeet Google!” as he goes on a rant about how it’s not that simple to diagnose a condition?
What’s the difference between an iPod playlist and an experienced deejay? Not much, according to that friend of yours that convinces you to let him DJ your event, only to watch them turn the dance floor into a barren wasteland of broken dreams.
3. Interior designer
We all know that interior design is basically one piece from IKEA, one piece that’s red or black and one piece that’s not functional in any way but is ‘eclectic’. Make sure to keep saying ‘eclectic’ and if that doesn’t work say it has ‘good Feng Shui.’
4. Graphic Designer
Got photoshop? Enough said.
5. Football Coach
As the saying goes, if you watch football, then you coach football. Sure, we just made that saying up, but it’s totally true especially in Egypt. It doesn’t matter what kind of a world class team & veteran coach you’re watching, if you’re sitting at home stuffing your face with Doritos you can clearly do it better.
6. Social Media Manager
Just because you have 200 eggs following you on twitter, then definitely you can manage the brand identity & digital marketing strategies of corporate accounts. Who cares that the slightest misstep can evoke the wrath of the internet and kill the business? These are minor issues.
7. Director / Filmmaker
The difference between another crappy cellphone video and a ‘digital short’ is the credits at the end written in big superimposed fonts. So go for it. That’s exactly how the first seasons of Narcos & Breaking Bad were filmed.
It’s a scientific fact that only 3% of the population can keep someone within a frame while simultaneously clicking a button to take a picture, so if you have this rare talent (and Instagram) then you have absolutely no excuse not to make a profession out of it.
9. Celebrity Chef
Can you marinate things in cinnamon and add ta3mya to sushi rolls? Then for God’s sake, why aren’t you pitching your show to CBC Sofra right this second? Chop chop.
You have a brilliant idea and a pair of flip flops. Bas keda, right this way to your private jet Mr. Zuckerberg. It’s literally that easy.
This blurry line between pros and amateurs claiming to be pros not only infuriates the experts, but also companies hiring someone in these fields. Except doctors, obviously. You can recognise them by their white doctor coats.